No one tells you that after the baby is born, the silence gets louder. That in the stillness of the night, after the congratulations fade and the visitors stop knocking, a woman can find herself sitting on the edge of the bed, numb, tired, staring at the wall, holding a life she grew but barely recognizing the pieces of herself.
According to the Kenya National Bureau of Statistics, more than 1 million births were recorded in 2024.
That’s millions of women who’ve brought life into the world, and many of them, quietly, are breaking down while everyone’s busy celebrating. The spotlight on motherhood is bright at the beginning. But it dims fast, and dangerously.
Postpartum depression
Take postpartum depression, for instance. It doesn’t always show up like sadness. Sometimes it’s irritability. Sometimes it’s numbness. Or feeling disconnected from the baby. Or resentment toward the partner. Or guilt so deep it eats at her during midnight feeds.
And contrary to popular belief, it doesn’t only hit first-time mums. In 2025, popular digital creator Milly WaJesus shared how, after giving birth to her third child, she hit such a dark place she almost left her family.
Many women related to her confession saying that it is always assumed that by the third baby, you already know how to handle it. The truth is, each pregnancy is different. Every child brings a different rhythm. And every woman’s body and mind process birth in a different way.
And so is each postpartum experience. It doesn’t care if you’re married, well-off, or prayed for this child for years.
What’s consistent, though, is that our culture is still struggling to show up for mothers beyond baby showers and Instagram posts.
According to the World Health Organization, around 10% of pregnant women and 13% of new mothers globally experience mental health conditions like depression.
In developing countries like Kenya, the rates are even higher, up to 16% during pregnancy and nearly 20% after childbirth.
Postpartum depression can look like silence. Like a mother who stops brushing her hair. Who stares at the wall while breastfeeding. Who flinches at the sound of her baby’s cry. Or worse, who feels nothing at all. Some mothers may even have suicidal thoughts.
What triggers postpartum depression
It can be triggered by hormones, fatigue, fear, lack of support, or a history of trauma. And the effects don’t stop with the woman, they ripple through marriages, friendships, workplaces, and children’s lives.
So what does a mother really need?
She needs her partner to notice when her energy drops, not just her milk supply. She needs her family to show up in her fragile, messy, teary moments.
Workplaces should understand that coming back after maternity leave doesn’t mean a woman is back to normal That flexible hours, access to therapy, and dignity at work are not privileges, they’re necessities.
And yes, gifts are lovely. The flowers, the “Best Mum” mugs, the framed photos. But presence is sweeter. Real, intentional, emotional presence. Sit with her. Listen to her. Watch her closely. Because the strongest-looking mother in the room could be fighting to hold herself together.
This Mother’s Day, beyond the brunches and hashtags, remember this: every woman who’s ever carried a child has been forever changed. She’s doing her best to be everything for everyone, but someone needs to be something for her, too.
