Do you often find yourself in toxic relationships? Have people told you to choose better and you can’t seem to decide what better is? Read on to find out what to look for in a healthy relationship.

Intuition

You’ve often heard people say, I didn’t want them at first, but they insisted and I decided to give them a chance. After a while their partner changed and they were left with a wound too deep. Our bodies know who we can trust and who we shouldn’t be around.

Trust yourself. Sometimes, the relationship starts fairly well but one day you have a sinking feeling, and you ignore this feeling. Later on, that sinking feeling is confirmed. As long as you tell your gut feeling and your trauma apart you should trust what you feel.

They know themselves; they know what they want and you have what they need.

It’s okay to love people who are still figuring themselves out the problem comes when they have no idea what they like. They don’t have a type, don’t have goals, they have no plans. If you are looking for a long-term relationship the two of you have to be in alignment.

If you are looking to start a family then you and your partner have to be on the same page. Sometimes people tell on themselves, listen to what kind of person they want or whom they are attracted to. Do you fit in that category? Do you see yourself living the life you want?

Communication

Unless you read minds everyone you associate with should effectively communicate. Effective communication leads to thriving healthy relationships. Both you and your lover should effectively communicate your needs, values, pain and hurt.

They see you

The sixth love language as TikTok decided is being seen. Partners who are intentional with the way they love one another flourish. We say being seen as sometimes you may need love not inform of your primary love language.

Assuming your primary love language is gifting on your hard days you might need some reassurance. Please don’t confuse being seen with aggressive obsession.

Intentional about you.

Do they plan dates because couples go out? Do they call or text because couples talk? Fall in love with people who truly and genuinely like you.

People who want to talk to you, who enjoy your company and who are looking to get to know you and fall in love with you.

Are they ready for a relationship?

You might be ready to fall in love, and start a family but is your partner ready? Like I said ensure from the start your goals and dreams align and that they want what you can offer.

They may want or need what you bring to the table but are they ready for it? Do they have what it takes to receive the kind of love you have to give?

They tick your all-non-negotiables

Take a pen and paper and write all the things you’d want from your partner. Categories it into two, non-negotiables and negotiables. Think abundantly. Then don’t settle, only date those who meet your requirement.

The key to healthy long-lasting relationships is reciprocity. Do you provide all the things listed above? Do you communicate effectively?

Are you truly ready for a healthy relationship or are you escaping something? When you can reciprocate all the things you want from your partner, find love.

Do you provide what you require? Give yourself the love you so badly need. Referring to point 7 when you meet your needs you will most likely not settle. Take yourself out, get flowers, and do everything you need. 


 

Gladys Njamiu writes on mental health, books and films. Holds a bachelor’s Degree in English and Literature from Machakos University. She is a poet and cat lover.

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